English is Easy?
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About English language
love this
1) The bandage
was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce
produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture..
5) He was reading
as the train sped through Reading
6) The soldier decided to desert his
dessert in the desert..
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the
head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the
bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was
invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how
to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The
buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a
sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer
taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the
sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
19)
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate
this to my most intimate friend?
21) If the lead weight was removed the
lead would be lighter
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There
is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France
. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We
take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig..
And why is it that writers write but
fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of
tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one
moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make
amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't
preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at
a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet
that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a
wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going
on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is
why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they
are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'
?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this
...
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any
other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP,
meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the
morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why
do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the
secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to
brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP
the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At
other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble,
line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed
is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP
because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it
UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be
knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the
dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page
and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might
try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of
your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or
more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun
comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and
often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry
UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is
UP,
so........it is time to shut UP!
Now it's UP to you what you do with
this email.
You still think English is easy...?
Rajendra.
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