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[LeadersWorkshop] Fw: : ~~~~~~ What is positive, valuable and good about your children..~~~~

[LeadersWorkshop] Fw: : ~~~~~~ What is positive, valuable and good about your children..~~~~

 


: : ~~~~~~ What is positive, valuable and good about your children..~~~~


:


 
 What To look For In Ur child.?
 
The second part of the first week's assignment was to list the ten things you like best about your child.  This list comes easily to some parents and not to others.  It is especially hard for parents of acting-out teenager or a child of any age who is out of control.
This exercise aims to help parents understand where they're focusing their attention when it comes to their kids.  It is designed to help parents realize the need to begin changing the focus back to what is positive, valuable and good about your children.
 
A Sample of Positive Traits to Look for in Your Child
Personality Traits and Characteristics
Persistence
Single-mindedness
Friendliness
Humour
Optimism
Honesty
Curiosity
Willing to try new things
Imaginative
Ability to think things through
 
School and Work Habits
Dedication
Organisation
Persistence
Neatness
Creativity
 
Interests & Hobbies
Diverse interests
Productive use of time
Healthy Competitiveness
Constructive Hobbies
Athletic Skills
Musical talents
Physical skills at all sports
 
Peer Relationships
Play well with friends
Is willing to share
Is considerate
Makes new friends easily
Is polite
Is compassionate
Caring for others
 
Home and Family Behaviour
Is obedient
Completes chores
Is respectful
Neat
Sensitive
 
As difficult as it may be at first, completing the exercise helps you to concentrate on what is truly important.  This naturally helps you to give praise and attention to the positive behaviour rather than focus on actions that are more negative and ultimately less important.
The purpose of giving praise is to increase the frequency of the behaviour we like in our children and to strengthen how our children feel about themselves.
 
 
 
 
Reply......Raj.............. ........ ......... .......
 
 
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
 
.



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[LeadersWorkshop] What is Effective Communication?

[LeadersWorkshop] What is Effective Communication?

 


 
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No one would talk much in society if they knew how often they misunderstood others. - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Many of the problems that occur in an organization are the direct result of people failing to communicate. Faulty communication causes the most problems. It leads to confusion and can cause a good plan to fail. Communication is the exchange and flow of information and ideas from one person to another. It involves a sender transmitting an idea to a receiver. Effective communication occurs only if the receiver understands the exact information or idea that the sender intended to transmit.
Studying the communication process is important because you coach, coordinate, counsel, evaluate, and supervise through this process. It is the chain of understanding that integrates the members of an organization from top to bottom, bottom to top, and side to side.

--
Posted By Shabbar Suterwala - Helping People to see the best in themselves to Inspirational and Motivational Articles at 2/23/2010 05:07:00 PM

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[LeadersWorkshop] Fw: ~~~~~~ PUT YOUR BEHIND IN YOUR PAST

 


 PUT YOUR BEHIND IN YOUR PAST

 PUT YOUR BEHIND IN YOUR PAST 
 
 

I like what Miguel de Cervantes, the author of DON QUIXOTE, said,
"Love not what you are, but what you may become." There is hope that
I can always change for the better. I can become more self confident,
More in charge of my life, healthier, happier -- you get the idea.
And there is hope that I can change a situation -- like finding a new
Career or going after a new life-style.
 
If you're like me, making any big changes can be scary. We will have
To COMMIT. And we may have to take a risk.
 
Let me illustrate what I mean:
 
Consider a performer on a trapeze. She swings back and forth. And
Then she encounters another trapeze bar. It is swinging toward her
And it is empty. Now she has a decision to make. She may continue to
Hang onto her present bar, or let go and grasp the new one. But she
Can't do both! She can't hang onto the old and grasp the new with her
Other hand. She HAS to decide which she wants.
 
If she chooses to let go of the past and grasp the future, she finds
Herself suspended for a moment in mid-air. Scary! It's too late to go
Back and she has not yet latched onto the other bar. She is
Vulnerable and at risk. But she has decided to take that risk in
Order to move forward.
 
Life is like that. Sometimes you have let go of something if you want
To latch onto something else. Maybe you will need to let go of an old
Job in order to take a new one. Or you may have to let go of an old
Relationship before fitting a new one into your life. You have to let
Go of other priorities on your time or money before grasping that new
Opportunity.
 
And for a while you may feel suspended in mid-air. You've committed
To something new and let go of the past, but you have not yet grasped
What is ahead. You feel vulnerable and you may be frightened. But you
Know that the only way you can reach the new "bar" is to let go of
The old one.
 
But like Simba (from "The Lion King") says, "Ya gotta put your behind
In your past." Then you're ready for whatever comes next.
 
Author : Steve Goodier~


 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 





 



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[LeadersWorkshop] Fw: ~~~~ Rices of The Heart

 




 

Rices of The Heart
 
 
I have heard it said that from the time an infant first struggles to
Get her toes into her mouth, life is a continual struggle to make both
Ends meet. Those who are working one or more jobs and feel as if they
Are barely getting by can relate.
 
But I also know that the pursuit of money, as an end in itself, is an
Empty endeavor. Happy are those who seek riches which cannot be
Counted in a bank or measured on a scale. For they will never know
Real poverty.
 
I believe writer Rudyard Kipling got it right when he admonished
Students at McGill University to never waste their time fighting for
Money. He said that some day they will meet someone who cares little
For money and will not take it, even if offered. At that time, they
Will discover how poor they really are!
 
Yet how very wealthy are those who seek riches of the heart. They will
Always have more than enough of all that brings true happiness.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

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[LeadersWorkshop] Fw:~~~~~ Where Do You See Happiness :..???..

 
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[LeadersWorkshop] Fwd: nice poem

[LeadersWorkshop] Fwd: nice poem

 

Kahlil Gibran once wrote-
 
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
 
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
 
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.





Regards

Rashmi Jha
                                               Reach us @ www.afspl.com

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[LeadersWorkshop] : Power of love - The true story of the Infosys First couple [3 Attachments]

Subject: Power of love - The true story of the Infosys First couple

Love Story of Narayana and Sudha Murthy
(From Sudha Murthy's Autobiography)

cid:1.3132964570@web54003.mail.re2.yahoo.com


It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murthy through my friend Prasanna who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco (TataMotors). Most of the books that Prasanna lent me had Murthy's name on them which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man.

Contrary to expectation, Murthy was shy, bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner. I was a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murthy was relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m at Green Fields Hotel on the Main Road, Pune.

VALENTINES-DAY-QUOTES-large.jpgThe next day I went there at 7 o'clock since I had to go to the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murthy waiting in front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murthy maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meet him .... And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murthy as anything other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.

Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murthy's experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted that Murthy as trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murthy said, I want to tell you something. I knew this as it was coming.

He said, I am 5'4" tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life and I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me?

I asked Murthy to give me some time for an answer.

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murthy and his proposal. My mother was positive since Murthy was also from Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications, etc? Murthy was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet Murthy in Pune on a particular day at 10 am sharp.

Murthy did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.

At 12 noon Murthy turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to Bombay, was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi (though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law. My father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life.

Murthy said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don't want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages - something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murthy which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murthy because he is an honest man.

VALENTINES-DAY-QUOTES-large.jpgHe proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murthy without his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murthy promised to take up a steady job. But Murthy refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murthy was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years, I maintained a book on Murthy's debt to me. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding.

The amount was a little over Rs 4,000. During this interim period Murthy quit his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way.

During the fag end of 1977 Murthy decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay ... But before he joined the company, he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murthy had a decent job, now.

We were married in Murthy's house in Bangalore on February 10, 1978 with only our two families present. I got my first silk sari. The wedding expense came to only Rs 800 with Murthy and I pooling in Rs 400 each.

I went to the US with Murthy after marriage. Murthy encouraged me to see America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain fresh in my mind forever.

Like the time when the New York police took me into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem. Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murthy panicked because he couldn't get a response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.

IN 1981 MURTHY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO CAPITAL. Initially I was very apprehensive about Murthy getting into business. We did not have any business background. Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn't want to rock the boat. But Murthy was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him.

Typical of Murthy, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it.. I give you three years sabbatical leave.. I will take care of the financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you have only three years!

Murthy and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981, with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murthy. We bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house.

In 1983 Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore . Murthy moved to Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born, Murthy left for the US on project work.

I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murthy in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters.

cid:2.3132964571@web54003.mail.re2.yahoo.com
Sudha, Rohini Nilekani & Kumari Shibulal

VALENTINES-DAY-QUOTES-large.jpgMy father presented Murthy a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who gave their un-stinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build something good.

It was like a big joint family, taking care and looking out for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murthy made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially.

Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murthy said he did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love doing.

It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murthy's request..I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100 percent. One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys.

I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murthy's dream. It was a big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murthy says, "Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for my success. "

That's the Power of Love.

 

 

Subject: Power of love - The true story of the Infosys First couple

 

 

 

Love Story of Narayana and Sudha Murthy
                           (From Sudha Murthy's Autobiography)

cid:1.3132964570@web54003.mail.re2.yahoo.com


It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murthy through my friend Prasanna who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco (TataMotors). Most of the books that Prasanna lent me had Murthy's name on them which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man.

Contrary to expectation, Murthy was shy, bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner. I was a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murthy was relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m at Green Fields Hotel on the Main Road, Pune.

VALENTINES-DAY-QUOTES-large.jpgThe next day I went there at 7 o'clock since I had to go to the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murthy waiting in front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murthy maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meet him .... And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murthy as anything other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.

Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murthy's experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted that Murthy as trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murthy said, I want to tell you something. I knew this as it was coming.  

He said, I am 5'4" tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life and I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? 

I asked Murthy to give me some time for an answer.

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murthy and his proposal. My mother was positive since Murthy was also from Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications, etc? Murthy was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet Murthy in Pune on a particular day at 10 am sharp. 

Murthy did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.

At 12 noon Murthy turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to Bombay, was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi (though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law. My father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life.

Murthy said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don't want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages - something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murthy which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murthy because he is an honest man. 

VALENTINES-DAY-QUOTES-large.jpgHe proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murthy without his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murthy promised to take up a steady job. But Murthy refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murthy was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years, I maintained a book on Murthy's debt to me. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding.

The amount was a little over Rs 4,000. During this interim period Murthy quit his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way.

During the fag end of 1977 Murthy decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay ... But before he joined the company, he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murthy had a decent job, now.

We were married in Murthy's house in Bangalore on February 10, 1978 with only our two families present. I got my first silk sari. The wedding expense came to only Rs 800 with Murthy and I pooling in Rs 400 each.

I went to the US with Murthy after marriage. Murthy encouraged me to see America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain fresh in my mind forever.

Like the time when the New York police took me into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem. Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murthy panicked because he couldn't get a response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.

IN 1981 MURTHY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO CAPITAL. Initially I was very apprehensive about Murthy getting into business. We did not have any business background. Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn't want to rock the boat. But Murthy was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him.  

Typical of Murthy, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it.. I give you three years sabbatical leave.. I will take care of the financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you have only three years!

Murthy and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981, with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murthy. We bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house.

In 1983 Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore . Murthy moved to Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born, Murthy left for the US on project work. 

I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murthy in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters.

 

cid:2.3132964571@web54003.mail.re2.yahoo.com
Sudha, Rohini Nilekani & Kumari Shibulal
 

VALENTINES-DAY-QUOTES-large.jpgMy father presented Murthy a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who gave their un-stinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build something good.

It was like a big joint family, taking care and looking out for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murthy made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially.

Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murthy said he did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love doing.

It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murthy's request..I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100 percent. One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys.

I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murthy's dream. It was a big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murthy says, "Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for my success. "

That's the Power of Love.



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Love Story of Narayana and Sudha Murthy
                           (From Sudha Murthy's Autobiography)

cid:1.3132964570@web54003.mail.re2.yahoo.com


It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murthy through my friend Prasanna who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco (TataMotors). Most of the books that Prasanna lent me had Murthy's name on them which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man.

Contrary to expectation, Murthy was shy, bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner. I was a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murthy was relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m at Green Fields Hotel on the Main Road, Pune.

VALENTINES-DAY-QUOTES-large.jpgThe next day I went there at 7 o'clock since I had to go to the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murthy waiting in front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murthy maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meet him .... And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murthy as anything other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.

Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murthy's experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted that Murthy as trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murthy said, I want to tell you something. I knew this as it was coming.  

He said, I am 5'4" tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life and I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? 

I asked Murthy to give me some time for an answer.

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murthy and his proposal. My mother was positive since Murthy was also from Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications, etc? Murthy was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet Murthy in Pune on a particular day at 10 am sharp. 

Murthy did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.

At 12 noon Murthy turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to Bombay, was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi (though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law. My father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life.

Murthy said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don't want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages - something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murthy which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murthy because he is an honest man. 

VALENTINES-DAY-QUOTES-large.jpgHe proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murthy without his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murthy promised to take up a steady job. But Murthy refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murthy was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years, I maintained a book on Murthy's debt to me. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding.

The amount was a little over Rs 4,000. During this interim period Murthy quit his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way.

During the fag end of 1977 Murthy decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay ... But before he joined the company, he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murthy had a decent job, now.

We were married in Murthy's house in Bangalore on February 10, 1978 with only our two families present. I got my first silk sari. The wedding expense came to only Rs 800 with Murthy and I pooling in Rs 400 each.

I went to the US with Murthy after marriage. Murthy encouraged me to see America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain fresh in my mind forever.

Like the time when the New York police took me into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem. Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murthy panicked because he couldn't get a response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.

IN 1981 MURTHY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO CAPITAL. Initially I was very apprehensive about Murthy getting into business. We did not have any business background. Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn't want to rock the boat. But Murthy was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him.  

Typical of Murthy, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it.. I give you three years sabbatical leave.. I will take care of the financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you have only three years!

Murthy and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981, with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murthy. We bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house.

In 1983 Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore . Murthy moved to Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born, Murthy left for the US on project work. 

I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murthy in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters.

 

cid:2.3132964571@web54003.mail.re2.yahoo.com
Sudha, Rohini Nilekani & Kumari Shibulal
 

VALENTINES-DAY-QUOTES-large.jpgMy father presented Murthy a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who gave their un-stinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build something good.

It was like a big joint family, taking care and looking out for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murthy made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially.

Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murthy said he did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love doing.

It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murthy's request..I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100 percent. One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys.

I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murthy's dream. It was a big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murthy says, "Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for my success. "

That's the Power of Love.


Asif Petiwala

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